Saturday, July 25, 2009
Beer vs Obama
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." --Benjamin Franklin
Why Beer Is Better Than Obama?
Beer is better than Obama because soldiers like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because sailors like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because marines like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't come from Madrassas.
Beer is better than Obama because you know what's in beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer won't take half your paycheck.
Beer is better than Obama because beer makes life a little better.
Beer is better than Obama because you're sad if there's no more beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lie.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't have entitlement demands.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and whine don't mix.
Beer is better than Obama because beer has a pretty good head on it.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and bowling go together.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and arugula don't.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t mind if you cling to your beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t trash talk you behind your back.
Beer is better than Obama because cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming.
Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesn’t pretend to be domestic.
Beer is better than Obama because beer likes it when I set my thermostat COLD.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is GREEN only on St. Patrick’s Day.
Beer is better than Obama because beer didn’t smoke pot and snort coke.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is better than Vichy Water.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is unpretentious.
Beer is better than Obama because people in small towns cling to God, guns and beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't promise you a free lunch.
Beer is better than Obama because there ain't no Pabst Bilal* Ribbon. Not yet anyway.
*"Bilal - Satisfies thirst; name of the Prophets Muezzin (one who calls for prayer)"
Beer is better than Obama because beer won’t throw you under the bus.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't cut and run.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't phony.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't flip-flop.
Beer is better than Obama because beer’s ingredients known for sure.
Beer is better than Obama because beer makes people happy.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is as American as apple pie.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't promoted on National Public Radio.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't mind if you own an SUV.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care how much you make.
Beer is better than Obama because a beer won't blame America for 9/11.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't a lawyer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer comes with an expiration date.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and NASCAR go together.
Beer is better than Obama because you're not afraid to turn your back on a beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't have friends who bombed the pentagon.
Beer is better than Obama because an empty beer is better than an empty suit.
Beer is better than Obama because beer minds its own business.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't tell you what you want to hear.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is worth what you pay for it.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lecture you about "global warming."
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care what color you are.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't want to take away your gun.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is popular with working people.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't crazy.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't start out as empties.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't rig elections.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don't raise taxes.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and coke don't mix.
***
Tip o'the hat to Don for the following contributions:
Beer wants to make you sociable; Obama wants to make you socialist.
No matter how often you pee, you can't rid yourself of Obama.
A beer hangover means you had a good time; an Obama hangover means the good times are gone.
Beer will make the ball game more fun; Obama will tax your balls off.
Too much beer means some of us will occasionally have to say "I'm sorry." Too much Obama means we're all gonna be very, very sorry for a long, long time.
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